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Celibacy : Cause + Effect

I spent this time on focusing my “highest and best use of vital energy” on vital tasks. If I had been so focused on work, yet distracted by sex, then it was time to truly focus on this work. On school, on personal development, on herHABITAT, on moving across the country, on my non-sexual relationships…After 7 months I had effectively decided and planned to move across the country, finished school getting 100% on my last exam, travelled to Halifax 3 times… and on.

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IWS / EPISODE 8

“its really hard to be the one to leave because you’re holding onto the love you thought you had and the dedication.. but if what you promised yourself to was there still, you wouldn’t be leaving” – some dude Teagan got furniture and life advice from

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blog, Community, EVE, Interviews, IRL INSPO, LEARN

BECCA

What are your expectations for yourself?

I’m gonna answer this short and sweet. Expectations are a strength and a weakness. It is important to have hunger and to strive – but setting unrealistic and scary goals, can lead to disappointment and really intense unhappiness. My expectations are of happiness and love.

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Finding My Way Home

For me, home is predictable. Home is where things have a place, and I know where that place is. Home is being able to sit at a desk and write instead of cramped up on a bed, or being able to use all of the ingredients in my kitchen and not feel guilty for taking 2 days to clean the dishes. Home is where I can figure out my internal chaos without having the external contributing to it.

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Welcome To Inside My Head Pt. 2 – Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Many of my friends would label me as a perfectionist. However, few of them realize that such a trait stems directly from my anxiety disorder. With a constant feeling of impending doom, I focus my remaining energy on trying to maintain control of my own life and the current surroundings. This causes me to attempt to control my day to day interactions to ensure I can predict the outcome. Through excessive self-criticism and planning every act down to a tee, I push away the never ending “what-if” scenarios that reside in my brain.

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Welcome To Inside My Head Pt.1 : Depression

When I was clinically diagnosed with a mental illness, I had to take on the responsibility of sitting down with every individual who made up my support system… The first person I told asked me, “What does that even mean, to have a mental illness?” As I was only just coming to terms with the notion of having a mental illness myself, I struggled to explain how I felt.

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When Healthy Eating Becomes Toxic

Beginning as an innocent attempt to be health-conscious, I focused much of my energy into long distance running…Thus, following a major depressive episode, I found myself fixated on food and this notion of “righteous eating.”

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PDA

This is when you start to hyperventilate. The shudders that rock your body as you try to steady your breathing come in shorter spurts. It feels like your body is being buried under 10 feet of sand and you have an oxygen tank that will only last ten minutes to dig yourself out. You grasp at your arms, a weak attempt at hugging yourself. Or pinching yourself. Something. Your fingers stiffen, and your goose bump covered body is sweating profusely but you don’t feel anything. You can’t think anymore.

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Shut The F*ck Up About My Sexual Assault

I refuse to let my future daughter grow up in a world where I don’t have dirt under my nails from trying my damnedest to dig up the truth, the secrets, the belief that these are things that shouldn’t be spoken about. That the best way is to stay silent. That nothing is fucking wrong. I will not plant my good will in a ground that has been fertilized by fear and hatred and violence.

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