An ex-boyfriend once told me he thought we had wells of emotion in us, and you had to be careful about where, when, and how much you used your sadness and joy incase it ran out. Turned out his reasoning for this was a good excuse to not be very loving or kind, his sadness […]Read more
“We know that sometimes fear comes from ourselves and sort of egging on our anxieties but I think it another part of where fear comes from is from societal pressure about what we are supposed to be doing and like your obligation as a person, as an artist, as a business person. When you decide to delve into this creative world there is a process to it.. a definite process and people are always going to be a part of that, watching that. fear comes from society basically saying this is the way you should be doing and creativity is saying fuck, no, thats now how I’m doing it and those things contradict themselves every time you try to work them together.”Read more
GROW WITH THE LONELY: Intense, long feelings do not go away over night. These things take time to grow and they will take time to chip away at too. Some days you will hit a tender spot. Some days you will be able to take out a good chunk and walk around with a weight off your shoulders. Remember that we contain ourselves, and those spaces you create will be filled with something else. Try to focus on what you want instead of what you have lost. Be easy with yourself as you nurture parts of you that maybe have not seen kindness in a while.Read more
So while I learned a lot that was detrimental to my survival and happy existence outside of this world, these lessons weren’t as important to my “real” life as I would have like to believed. That is to say, who I am here hasn’t changed much because of who I was there.Read more
When I am empty the things that fill me are not big enough to keep themselves from draining through my pores like a salt shaker, and the words do not come easy – are not coming easy.Read more
How do you think you are seen in the world?
I think people in general have a hard time understanding my choices. We’re all so driven to save money for when we get old, that we miss out on our young lives and arrive at year 80 full of regret. I’m happy that I’ve decided to live in the moment, because I can choose to change my life and do different things whenever I want to. In a sense, it’s like time travel. When I’m too old to do any of this, I won’t be able to change the past. In essence, it just doesn’t click with people. Questions like, “What will you do when you’re older? When will you start to save money? Do you think you’ll eventually decide to live a normal life? What about a career?” are the type that I receive on a daily basis. And the people who ask me those questions should be ashamed of themselves. Snap out of it, the definition of an accomplished life is solely my decision. I’d rather have a sea of memories than a business card which gives my existence a certain status.Read more
For me, home is predictable. Home is where things have a place, and I know where that place is. Home is being able to sit at a desk and write instead of cramped up on a bed, or being able to use all of the ingredients in my kitchen and not feel guilty for taking 2 days to clean the dishes. Home is where I can figure out my internal chaos without having the external contributing to it.Read more