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“I Just Need Space”

Space, I’ve realized, is having the capacity to do the things you want and need to make you feel good without having to feel guilty about it. It’s a physical state, as well as a mental state.

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38 hours

38 hours is the worst amount of time to be home. It’s just enough to feel relief in the uber home, when the evening air is still warm and the city still looks the same as you’re driving down lakeshore. It’s enough time to feel panicked about everything you have to do but not enough […]

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Un-Confined

Au naturel or contour? Will painting my nails make me feel pretentious? Can I do the make-up without the wardrobe or hair? Do I want to drink wine and play board games tonight or read until 2AM? I have these small conflicts with myself almost every day. It kind of starts with who do I feel […]

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“Just Relax”

The ultimate relaxation would be an apology. I would love to sit down and write out an hour long lecture to the people I’m frustrated with or who I feel don’t see my point of view and just really give it to them. Intellectually. Up the ass.

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Active Trust vs. Passive Trust

Innately, we trust people emotionally because of our instincts. The way they treat us, make us feel, open themselves up, etc. We can see distinctly the way in which we can trust people by the way they act – whether we’re consciously making these distinctions or not.

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What I Learned From Dating Women Who Have Been Raped

And, you know, we always act like traumatized people are “broken” or something somehow, but my body knew exactly what it was doing. It did exactly the right thing.

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Actions Speak Louder Than Intentions

Everyone is familiar with the phrase “actions speak louder than words”. I believe in this whole heartedly, and while I still believe that honesty is important, I don’t think that being honest about what you’re doing is an excuse to do it. And that’s where a grey area comes in. A lot of people use […]

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The Motivation of Fear

I’ve always struggled to be my best. I think we all do. We’ve been told to push ourselves past limits and be surprised at all we can be and do. This isn’t untrue – I have pushed myself, and been pleasantly surprised at the results. There’s an ever growing definition in each of us of […]

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Finding My Way Home

For me, home is predictable. Home is where things have a place, and I know where that place is. Home is being able to sit at a desk and write instead of cramped up on a bed, or being able to use all of the ingredients in my kitchen and not feel guilty for taking 2 days to clean the dishes. Home is where I can figure out my internal chaos without having the external contributing to it.

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Bad Habits

I’m trying to unravel these things. Trying to build a better model. Attempting to instead of always understand why I feel I need them, to just understand that I can’t keep doing them. That knowledge isn’t always the key to moving forward, and that I don’t have to always disassemble the bad to build up the good.

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