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Why Is It So Hard To Accept?

Appreciation is the lost aspect of acceptance. I have noticed an decrease in appreciation, and an increase in expectation. Not only of others, but in ourselves mainly. We have devalued what we give and do so much that when others want to appreciate that or give back we simply can’t fathom it. We expect so much of ourselves and appreciate so little of what we do.

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“Just Relax”

The ultimate relaxation would be an apology. I would love to sit down and write out an hour long lecture to the people I’m frustrated with or who I feel don’t see my point of view and just really give it to them. Intellectually. Up the ass.

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The Motivation of Fear

I’ve always struggled to be my best. I think we all do. We’ve been told to push ourselves past limits and be surprised at all we can be and do. This isn’t untrue – I have pushed myself, and been pleasantly surprised at the results. There’s an ever growing definition in each of us of […]

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Mental health is not a priority at this University

Dear Western University, I have been on the Dean’s Honor List, worked tirelessly on my faculty council and volunteered countless hours to the Orientation program, yet I am known to certain members of the administration as the girl who was in the psych ward. My journey accessing Western’s mental health resources (or lack thereof) began […]

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Finding My Way Home

For me, home is predictable. Home is where things have a place, and I know where that place is. Home is being able to sit at a desk and write instead of cramped up on a bed, or being able to use all of the ingredients in my kitchen and not feel guilty for taking 2 days to clean the dishes. Home is where I can figure out my internal chaos without having the external contributing to it.

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Bad Habits

I’m trying to unravel these things. Trying to build a better model. Attempting to instead of always understand why I feel I need them, to just understand that I can’t keep doing them. That knowledge isn’t always the key to moving forward, and that I don’t have to always disassemble the bad to build up the good.

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The Intimacies of Introspection

The danger of introspection is often not the act of looking into yourself, but what is done with what is found. There are times we “remember” to feel guilty, or sad, or angry. That in trying to find an explanation, purpose, or motivation we instead find excuses and false reasoning. Introspection is about understanding, not remembering. It is about learning, not inflicting.

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Quote

“Once you have identified with some form of negativity, you do not want to let it go, and on a deeply unconscious level, you do not want positive change. It would threaten your identity as a depressed, angry or hard-done by person. You will then ignore, deny or sabotage the positive in your life. This is a common phenomenon. It is also insane.” – Eckhart Tolle

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The Destruction of Age

If you let the idea that you should already achieving your dreams colour your choices, then you render everything between when you “should” have and now obsolete. All of the experiences, goals, lessons, and memories don’t account for anything if you don’t believe that in some way they have helped you. That you have not learned anything worthy, that this has been time wasted, and the future holds only more time to waste.

This version of you is still capable. This version of you deserves to have the chance to reach those goals – whether 25, 35, or 65.

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Welcome To Inside My Head Pt. 2 – Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Many of my friends would label me as a perfectionist. However, few of them realize that such a trait stems directly from my anxiety disorder. With a constant feeling of impending doom, I focus my remaining energy on trying to maintain control of my own life and the current surroundings. This causes me to attempt to control my day to day interactions to ensure I can predict the outcome. Through excessive self-criticism and planning every act down to a tee, I push away the never ending “what-if” scenarios that reside in my brain.

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