What do you think has been the biggest influence in becoming happy with who you are?
Honestly, I feel like all of the bad decisions and mistakes I have made in the past have been the biggest influence in the person I am now. It definitely took a while, but I began to learn from all of my experiences; all of the terrible things I have done to myself and others and my past cynicism when it comes to life finally got me to be happy with who I am. I am finally at a place where I am truly proud of the woman I am becoming.
How do you see yourself in the world?
I don’t see myself as a part of the world, I just see me. I honestly don’t feel like anyone is here for any reason other than to live, and I am doing just that.
What is your fatal flaw?
I would say that one of my fatal flaws would be my hesitation when it comes to expressing myself and saying what I feel. I am the type of person to plan spontaneity and force a filter on myself, (which has definitely been useful at times), but it also makes me feel like there is a veil separating me from the rest of the world.
Do you think by making honest decisions in your life, you’ve made positive changes in the world? (what has making honest decisions in your life done for the world/your world/ what does it mean to make an honest decision)
As I said earlier, I really don’t think I am here for any spiritual reason. I don’t feel that my actions could ever influence the world in any way, but maybe that’s just me not fully reaching my potential. I feel that I have become a more positive person, and my ability to make people laugh (even if it’s at me) has hopefully left a smile on some faces. I have definitely made decisions that affected my personal world, honest and difficult decisions that has impacted my life. For me to make an honest decision is to truly think of the outcome, as scary as it may be, and just dive right in.
What is the most important thing women do for each other?
The most important thing that anyone can do for each other is respect, support, and empathize for each other.
What are the defining traits of a woman?
I don’t think there should be definitive traits for either gender. I think the most definitive traits are those that you create for yourself, regardless of sex, gender, class, etc.
What are your defining traits?
I would say that I am charismatic, honest, open, and cynical at times.
What do you wish you were more of?
I wish I were more open to love. I was never raised into it, and I think that’s had a huge impact in who I am. I never saw love between my parents, only companionship. The first time I remember seeing my parents kiss was probably when I was 14, I only ever saw them as roommates – I guess that taught me that love does not exist other than in stories. I have been reluctant to let myself get close to anyone until recently, in any sense other than physically. I just really wish I had been open to the idea of it, maybe then I would have known I deserved love rather than have someone show me that I did.
How would you describe your perspective of the world?
My personal perspective of the world is very practical – I’m a pretty practical person. I try to see things as fact by taking in as much information as possible and making my own rational decisions based on my own observations and experiences.
What’s the worst thing the media has done for you?
The worst thing the media has done for me is put pressure on what I should be. You constantly see billboards and movies depicting what a “normal” girl your age is supposed to look like and be like and growing up with that constantly in your face is tough. I feel like it’s sometimes difficult to look at yourself and try to figure out how much of you is really you, and how much is just what you think you’re supposed to be.
What’s the best thing the media has done for you?
The media has definitely given me a different perspective of things. It’s made me want to be different than the unrealistic expectations it laid out for me.
If you could change something in your past what would it be? Why?
There are as many things that I wish had happened, as there are things I really wish I could forget about my past. If I could change something in my past I don’t know if I actually would. Everything that has happened brought me to where I am now. I would say that I have experienced things that I have definitely learned from, even if those experiences were lost.
How do you think it would change things now?
If I changed anything about my past I may not be where I am today. Every mistake and bad thing that has ever happened to me has shaped the person I am now, I would never want anything to take that away from me.
Advice you would have given yourself in the past:
Relationships should never be work. That goes for friends and sex; you should never hurt in these relationships. Don’t rely on someone else to make you happy, let someone be a reason for happiness, but don’t solely rely on them for that – it makes you feel you can’t make yourself happy.
Also, never let anyone else determine your self-worth.
Advice you think you will need in the future:
Never apologize for who you are, and never apologize for being happy.
Advice you would give yourself now:
Don’t be afraid to ask for help, even if you don’t think you need it. Having an outside opinion is always a good idea and you don’t need to weigh yourself down with the contemplation of finding an answer on your own. Don’t feel guilty about needing help from the people you care about, if they care about you it should not be an issue.
What are, in your opinion, the most important things to life?
For me, it all comes down to happiness. I want to get to a place where I feel absolutely content about where I am. Honestly, I can’t think of the last time I was genuinely and completely happy, but I strive to get to a place where I am confident in my life. Happiness in financial stability, in a family, in interesting experiences, in adventures and exploration of the world and myself will be the most important thing in my life.
How have you achieved or are trying to achieve these things?
I am currently at university but don’t plan on getting a job that requires any type of university education. Everything I do, I am doing for me. And that is how I plan on achieving true happiness.
Do you feel like you know what you’re doing/that you have a path?
I definitely do feel like I know where I am going. I know what I want and how to go about doing it. I am on the right route with self-education and my relationships that will hopefully bring me to somewhere I really want to be.
Have you always known what you wanted to do?
Not at all. I have an idea of what I want to do, but another reason why I am choosing to do university instead of straight into a job is because I am a person who likes having a fall back, I like choices. If I decide that I don’t enjoy my work, I will still have a degree that can help get me somewhere. I’ve always known that I don’t want to work at an office my whole life, so by eliminating the things I don’t want to do, hopefully I am happy in finding what I truly enjoy.
What has been the most challenging obstacle to over come?
Myself. I have always hesitated to do things because of my inner monologue constantly telling me I can’t, or shouldn’t.
What inspires you/ Where do you find inspiration?
I find inspiration in every single one of my friends. Each one is doing completely their own things, they all have their own lives and aspirations. I find inspiration in watching them succeed as well as learning from their mistakes. I am so proud of every single one of them for different reasons and aspire to inspire them as much as they inspire me.
What do you see for the future?
I really enjoy how nothing in life is set in stone. Anything can be adjusted to cater to the unexpected things that will inevitably happen in the future. When I think of my future, I think about splitting the cost of a Kitchenaid standing mixer with my partner,and of paying off the mortgage of our future home.
How would you like to be a part of it?
I would like to be there and be happy in the decisions that lead me to those moments.
What is your greatest personal achievement?
I would say that my greatest personal achievement is still being here and being content with who I am as a person. Things could have gone very differently for me. I feel like I have become someone that I can actually be proud of.
Would you consider yourself successful or inspiring?
I would consider myself successful, I feel like I am on a good path and am gaining happiness along the way. I hope to be inspiring for other people, I’m just not sure I’m there yet.
Who would you like to see celebrated?
I would like to see everyone celebrated for everything they do. It’s incredible to think that every single person you see walking down the street has their own goals and achievements, and each one has their own struggles. I find it incredible that everyone is battling their own minds and for that, I wish everyone appreciated each other more.
What does your work mean for you? What does it embody?
My work is, in one way or another, a reflection of who I am as a person. I try to produce things that I am proud of, and sometimes that is difficult.