GROW WITH THE LONELY: Intense, long feelings do not go away over night. These things take time to grow and they will take time to chip away at too. Some days you will hit a tender spot. Some days you will be able to take out a good chunk and walk around with a weight off your shoulders. Remember that we contain ourselves, and those spaces you create will be filled with something else. Try to focus on what you want instead of what you have lost. Be easy with yourself as you nurture parts of you that maybe have not seen kindness in a while.Read more
I think this is why it is often said we need to love ourselves before we love another. Not because we are unable to love others, or to be loved by others. But because it is essential for us to understand how our love feels; what we do and don’t need, what reactions cause what. We need to explore the way we make ourselves feel and understand these emotions. In my experience, if we don’t explore ourselves, we miss that much more in others.Read more
When I am empty the things that fill me are not big enough to keep themselves from draining through my pores like a salt shaker, and the words do not come easy – are not coming easy.Read more
I am sorry to those I love that I told I did not trust It’s not untrue in a way, like all ways but it is not the whole story either. I cannot blame those who came before you for how I feel now but The lack of trust is in myself because just once […]Read more
Originally posted on Moontime Warrior:
Poetry gives me freedom, sometimes. Sometimes forces me into shapes, corners, feminities that are stunning, suffocating And deliciously dishonest. Once I said I wanted my writing to taste good served with misâskwatômina, like sweet berries. Like the only way Native women are valuable is when we are consumable. Pretty. Sweet. But the…
This is when you start to hyperventilate. The shudders that rock your body as you try to steady your breathing come in shorter spurts. It feels like your body is being buried under 10 feet of sand and you have an oxygen tank that will only last ten minutes to dig yourself out. You grasp at your arms, a weak attempt at hugging yourself. Or pinching yourself. Something. Your fingers stiffen, and your goose bump covered body is sweating profusely but you don’t feel anything. You can’t think anymore.Read more
There is relief in realization because every struggle comes with an answer. Whether you get it now or in five years. And sometimes you realize you’re fucking doing okay. And that life is working out for you, and you’re struggling because you want to use these circumstances to make it better. You are relieved that this is not all there is. You learn that it is in our nature, if we nurture the parts of ourselves that want to be better, to always find a flaw so we never have to settle. So we can always experience a little success. Because you realize there has never been relief in settling, and there is a reason there is risk in reward.Read more
But enough about the water,
for it’s not what we drown in.
We drown inside the people,
and we drown in our own skin.
So don’t tell me to take lessons,
and don’t say that I should swim.
Cause it’s hard to rise,
when you’ve got ties,
that are pulling on your limb.
Originally posted on DRUNK IN A MIDNIGHT CHOIR:
today i was 12 hours early for a dinner-date so i drove past my parents’ house four times and didn’t knock because every time i do the bird-thing in there gets scared and you probably didn’t know this but captive pet birds will die of an anxious…
Dedicated to the men with little boys in their hearts that made fools of them.Read more