FEEL, LEARN

I Don’t Call Because I’m Lonely

I am lonely. Or very close to it. So I never call to hang out. I believe it was Rupi Kaur who said “Loneliness means you are in desperate need of yourself” and holy shit is that ever true.

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FEEL, LEARN

The Upside to Pain

Loneliness once scared the shit out of me. After I lost my partner of four years, I had no idea how to just be. I had spent most of our relationship putting my love, my energy and my time into him and when he left, I had nowhere to put it anymore. I was forced […]

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FEEL, LEARN, LIVE

Follow The Hoax

My point is, it doesn’t harm you to believe in something. It can actually be greatly beneficial to open yourself up to something that may seem like a hoax. It may feel silly to sit with headphones on and your eyes closed listening to a soothing voice and ocean waves, but what do you have to lose from trying?

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FEEL, LEARN

Lessons From 31 Days of Yoga

Over all, I learned to be real with myself. I learned that my ego is telling me I deserve the things that won’t serve me. That fear is what keeps me from doing things that seem strange, like guided meditation. That progress is a slow, and often fickle bitch that will not give me what I want but instead keeps me aware of what I need.

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FEEL, LEARN

What I Learned From Loneliness

GROW WITH THE LONELY: Intense, long feelings do not go away over night. These things take time to grow and they will take time to chip away at too. Some days you will hit a tender spot. Some days you will be able to take out a good chunk and walk around with a weight off your shoulders. Remember that we contain ourselves, and those spaces you create will be filled with something else. Try to focus on what you want instead of what you have lost. Be easy with yourself as you nurture parts of you that maybe have not seen kindness in a while.

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FEEL, LEARN

The Multitudes of Love

I think this is why it is often said we need to love ourselves before we love another. Not because we are unable to love others, or to be loved by others. But because it is essential for us to understand how our love feels; what we do and don’t need, what reactions cause what. We need to explore the way we make ourselves feel and understand these emotions. In my experience, if we don’t explore ourselves, we miss that much more in others.

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FEEL, LEARN

When I Am Empty

When I am empty the things that fill me are not big enough to keep themselves from draining through my pores like a salt shaker, and the words do not come easy – are not coming easy.

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FEEL

Cliff Jumping

I am sorry to those I love that I told I did not trust It’s not untrue in a way, like all ways but it is not the whole story either. I cannot blame those who came before you for how I feel now but The lack of trust is in myself because just once […]

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FEEL, LEARN

PDA

This is when you start to hyperventilate. The shudders that rock your body as you try to steady your breathing come in shorter spurts. It feels like your body is being buried under 10 feet of sand and you have an oxygen tank that will only last ten minutes to dig yourself out. You grasp at your arms, a weak attempt at hugging yourself. Or pinching yourself. Something. Your fingers stiffen, and your goose bump covered body is sweating profusely but you don’t feel anything. You can’t think anymore.

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