Where Inspiration Lingers

The frustration of lack of inspiration is very imminent in my world ATM. You know when you finally make one thing after a hiatus, and kind of feel like that back log of work should be rolling out now? Now I feel like the little here-and-there’s I’ve been pushing out were closer to flukes than a drizzle before a down pour.

So true to form, I was inspired by my lack of inspiration in the mundane way where I can only really write this piece once (unlike home which is more of a concept, than a thing that does or doesn’t). But I’m hoping that this piece will lead me onto better things, so I decided not to save it for another inevitable rainy day.

What is it that is so inspiring about a lack of inspiration? For me, today, it is forcing me to not wait for the world around me to give me my material. After going through a patch where creating seemed like it was the only way to process what was going on around me, I’m now going through a patch where everything is pre-processed; I know my job, my apartment, the directions almost anywhere. There isn’t as much of a need to step back from things, and consequently a lot of things end up looking the same. It’s not that I don’t live in an inspiring world, but I’ve just become so accustomed to being surrounded by all of these things that it doesn’t have the same impact. It’s all things I’ve made before, my idea of how the world is normal.

But I know that there are gems in all of this. And today, with the only urge I have being to create, I also have the need to draw on what I know I have.

As I’m sure a lot of creatives can relate to, it can be hard to find a specific direction. I love music, writing, and visual arts all equally so the question of, where do I start to create, it can be difficult to navigate where the urge is taking me. I’m in the middle of debating, while writing this, if I should take a break and go strum out some chords and try to write a song that’s half stuck in my head or if I should finish beading a patch that I started over a month ago?

And here I am, realizing not at all that I’m uninspired. I’m overstimulated. I am so excited, and completely plugged-in to the life I live in terms of it’s beauty and gifts. I am a little lost for direction. I am unsure as of if there is significance in creating of a hierarchy of importance – what to finish first, what is most beneficial to invest time into, what is best for the soul to pursue? What do I need right now from my art?

Personally, I am ready to indulge. In my comfort of being home, and of being past the point of processing, I am ready to undertake the things that I find challenging to do right, and scary to pursue deeply. I’m telling my friends I want to make a band with them, I’m implementing the notes from my idea journal to my novel outline, I am ignoring how long it takes to pursue all of these things and instead focusing on what I have to offer.

The world is going to spurn you. It’s going to spin your POV and ebb between normalcy and chaos. The time to do all of the things you dream of is when you make time, not when you have time. And the same goes for inspiration – when you make things, it becomes evident what you were inspired by.

If you’re feeling lost, look to what you have done. Fish through the scraps of your collages, flip through old journals, explore the colours of old paintings, feel the heart break from when you wrote that last song. And what is different now? How would you do that differently? There is your art. There is your inspiration.

Edgar Allan Foe

mostly poet / witch / do-er of art and magic / caffeine fiend Leo Sun / Cancer Rising / Aquarius Moon

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