What do you think success means?
Thats tough, I guess I never have had a true idea of the meaning. I grew up watching gangster movies thinking money was the base to all success. Now? now I think success is reaching a point where there is a certainty of your being. You are successful if you are proud and content with where you are and where you strive to be.
How do you think finding/creating success today differs from 10/20+ years ago?
We as a society have become self destructive when it comes to comparing ourselves to others and forcing over exaggerated expectations or goals upon ourselves. With social media we present ourselves to the world with open arms for judgment which can often do more harm then good. All of a sudden you get negative feedback and/or other artists taking your style. This is more prominent in certain fields like tattoo art or photography. however, I do love that in todays time and age, we are more open to different ideas and paths to our own success. Because of the ability to connect more easily we can reach out and inspire more artists/people globally.
What do you want from your life?
Not totally sure yet. I know I don’t wanna wake up everyday and do the same thing till I die. no offence to people who do have 9-5 desk jobs with a white picket fence and perfect family, but I would hate that. I wanna have my heart broken a few more times, I wanna fall embarrassingly in front of the club and giggle about it the next day. I wanna embrace failures and embrace further in my success. What I want from life is to roll with the punches, to feel and do everything with passion and confidence. thats how I feel now. Who knows what I would’ve said if you asked me last week. But thats what I feel NOW.
Describe your relationship with your work.
It’s a roller coaster! as are all relationships! As an artist I’m constantly bouncing between being the designer or the producer. I always have these wild ideas that inspire me so heavily, then I go through self doubt and hesitation when putting them into play. In terms of my job, I think its beyond roller coaster, more like a deep dark rabbit hole. I’ve been working for years in hospitality and in many places,each one I learn a new lesson. I’m still trying to find somewhere that fits just right so I can stick around longer. Everything I do, I put my heart into it and drive with reoccurring passion.
What, for you, is the significance of creating?
Without having known someone for years, I am able to show them a piece of me, show my vulnerability in my work. My art is about an extremely emotional connection. This is why I use a lot of black and white in my photography. Theres something so soft and unspoken in black and white, allowing your mind to piece the story and colours together.
What are you passionate about?
lol (=^.^=) wow. um. Displaying love. LOVE LOVE LOVE. It’s funny cause I’m super passionate about making money and I have these days that I feel absolutely invincible because I know my hard work has paid off 4 years of university, many adventures and I see so much more ahead of me. If it weren’t for my value and drive for money, I wouldn’t be who I am, I never would’ve become the hard worker I have always meant to be. However, I have these other days when I’m with a friend, or a boy or family and I see how much effort and passion I put into making them feel loved. I will put anything aside, specially my ego, to make someone feel cared for. I dated someone once who taught me the importance of telling someone their beautiful or special once a day. I sometimes forget and feel guilty about it. But I always remember that and my friends can tell you that more than once in a while I’ll hit them with messages of strength and support to remind them the value I have for them.
What are your expectations for yourself?
I’m gonna answer this short and sweet. Expectations are a strength and a weakness. It is important to have hunger and to strive – but setting unrealistic and scary goals, can lead to disappointment and really intense unhappiness. My expectations are of happiness and love.
How do you see yourself? How does this compare to how you would like to be seen?
I’m not particularly sure how I see myself, I am constantly learning about myself and the world. I show people exactly the way I am. Or at least I like to feel as I though I do. I find it easier to be honest and proud of who I am, regardless of my imperfections. It sucks sometimes, but I’m learning its okay to suck sometimes!
Two years ago from now where did you think you would be? How does that differ from where you are now?
I’m exactly where I should be. I can bitch and complain about how I haven’t saved any money, how I should’ve taken business, how I never should’ve dated blah blah. But I honestly don’t care to dwell. I don’t want to think about next year, I don’t wanna think about last year. I wanna think about right now.
Where do you think you will be in another year?
I don’t really think about that very much. Knowing myself, probably in love with the same person, dating the wrong person, crying about computer coding, bar tending somewhere on the weekends.
Are you who you want to be?
I can’t be anybody else! So might as well love me for me!
What about yourself/your life are you most proud of?
I kick ass at the things I enjoy doing; shooting photos, producing videos and music, bar tending, creating iTunes playlists everyone loves. I have drive and passion and creativity, many people lack 1 to all of these traits.
What words of wisdom do you live by?
This too shall pass. I have dark days, more often than I would like, but I try to imagine each day like a day at the beach. There are dark, stormy, chaotic and beautiful days, then there are clear, blue shiny and beautiful days. But both are beautiful. You must pass the storms to clear your skies.
If you could change something about society, what would it be?
Lack of compassion, love, respect.
What advice would you give this generation?
So many different things!! Our generation lacks values and creativity heavily. I think it hurts me the most how our generation treats the value of love and relationships. I just wish I could tell everyone to open their hearts and their minds. Allow love and passion to drive you insane. Let the world inspire you.
What do you think it means to be kind to yourself?
Thats an interesting question. I think being kind to myself is stepping back from constantly trying to make others happy and focusing on my myself. This is difficult for me. I love showing other people kindness and constantly find myself rejecting love for myself, whether it be from others or just giving myself some TLC.
What is the hardest emotion for you? Why?
LOVE! Because I suck at it, I sit in bed replaying nights over and over. Slow dancing in the living room, giggling over shitty ghost stories and then poof and I’m back to watching the read receipt hoping he would finally just tell me whats going on. I’m very emotional, I don’t hide it easily. Struggling for so long with depression and anxiety, I feel every emotion extra hard. I recently read an article explaining the similarities of love and drug addiction and it was fascinating. An emotion some people have difficulty achieving, was a weakness of mine which inspired me and destroyed me.
Can you pin point a time or mindset where you feel your life brought you onto the path you are on now?
I traveled to Israel after high school. When I came back from that trip my whole life changed. The people I had around me, my ideas on politics, travel and culture. I changed in the best ways I could, I learned to appreciate little things and take risks.
If there was anything in your life you could re-do what would it be? Why?
I would love to go back and save the several thousand dollars I spent on food and alcohol. There is so much wasted money. Really the only regret I have. I worked so hard and saved none of it. But I’m young, I will learn, so I hear.
What do you think it means to love? Is this reflective of your experiences with your relationships (including with yourself) or based off an ideal you are working towards achieving?
SCARY QUESTION. For me, I love in a way where I embrace a persons flaws and character and comfort them. I love the feeling of love. The staying awake at night because his arm is suffocating you but he looks so peaceful so you don’t move. But love is scary with millennials too many things keeping us from breaking down those walls.
Do you think it is more important to try and make an impact in the world at large, or in your own world? Why?
I think if each person does a small part, it makes a big impact. We should all live our lives trying to be the best us possible. iIm not the president, I cannot stop bombs overseas. However, I can hold the door open for the person behind me, or hold my friends when they cry, volunteer my time to charities, love people with all the love I have to offer. And I will do that everyday.
What do you consider your flaws? How have the hindered or helped you?
My biggest flaw is my emotions and that I am extremely self destructive. I’m proud of my flaws, I am proud of being an emotional person. I have no problem saying, yes I fall in love too fast and I let people hurt me. My emotions are all I have to remind me I’m human in a life that feels like a repetitive loop. But these emotions are what force me to stay up overthinking everything and they make me doubt my self worth.